


I'm Going To Convert Him

by Epic_7_Cringefics



Category: Epic Seven (Mobile Game)
Genre: Chaos God might also be sketch, Combat, Comedy, Diche has failed us all, Door Boy, F/M, Humor, Interrogation, Religion, Romance, Zealots, church, fight, relationship
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2019-01-31
Updated: 2019-01-31
Packaged: 2019-10-19 23:30:11
Rating: Not Rated
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,261
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/17611112
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Epic_7_Cringefics/pseuds/Epic_7_Cringefics
Summary: Montmorancy has a secret..





	I'm Going To Convert Him

“MMMPPHHH!!!!”

Try as she might, Montmorancy could not speak with the cloth gagging her mouth. Despite her best effort, she could not break free of the bindings to her hands and legs. And no matter the amount of force, she could not stand up for the rope restraining her in her seat. Here she was, locked away within one of the small quarters of the cathedral she served in. What had she done to deserve this? She only mentioned to Achates that she was nervous about a secret she did not wish to carry. And now she would carry it to her grave.

She felt beads of sweat raining down her face. Her imagination ran wild, taking her back to her studies of how the soldiers of Ezera had once detained a group of suspected traitors to the kingdom and interrogated them, performing unmentionable torturous acts upon them in an effort to get them to speak their truth. While this may not have been quite comparable, she nonetheless felt the burden of fear descend upon her as her captors stepped forward.

“Well, Sister Montmorancy,” Achates began, waggling her scepter around boldly in an effort to intimidate the smaller girl. “Perhaps you’d care to explain yourself before any further harm comes to you.”

“Sister Achates,” interrupted Alexa, twirling a blade as she sat across the small room’s table, “we haven’t even done anything yet. What harm would we even bring Sister Montmorancy that wouldn’t get us in deep trouble with—“

“H-Hey, can you guys hurry?” Elson trembled by the door, clutching his spear with hesitation as he watched them. Beads of sweat dropped from his brow, and Montmorancy wondered if he was experiencing a deeper type of fear than she right now.

“Hey! Watch the door! You got one job, bucko!” Achates hollered at the young knight’s apprentice before turning back around to the bound and gagged maiden. “Now, where were we? Ah, that’s right! <3”

Carefully lighting a candle and placing it upon the table, Achates began to nonchalantly prod Montmorancy for what she was looking for. “So, dear sister.. What was this ‘dangerous secret’ you mentioned earlier?”

“Is that why we’re here?” Alexa sighed. “I thought you said she committed a crime..”

Achates pursed her lips, rolling her eyes before retorting. “Withholding important information is a crime to the kingdom, Alexa. Don’t you think our kingdom as a knight, or are you in it for the glory?!”

Alexa blushed furiously, and with a grin of satisfaction Achates continued. “Anyway, let’s hear it! What’s so important you can’t tell me, Montmorancy?!?”

“Can she even talk with that blindfold over her mouth..?” Elson leered suspiciously at the priestess yet again. Perhaps she wasn’t quite cut out for this line of work..

“HEY! Watch the door, Door Boy!” Achates barked her orders as she untied the gag from Monty’s mouth, giving her breathing (and speaking!) room. “Now.. out with it!”

“I-I-I-I—“

“Oh, jeez..”

“What did you do to her??”

“How long do I have to keep watching the door..?”

“I-I-I-I—“ Monty stuttered and slipped back and forth in her seat, looking down with misty eyes. “I can’t, I can’t, I can’t.. I can’t betray a fellow sister..”

“Oho~ So it’s one of our own~”

Montmorancy gasped in revelation that she allowed Achates to step even closer to the truth. Her face grew pale as a Tundra Angara with the horrid guilt now weighing down her slumped over shoulders. In defeat, she exasperatedly defaulted to a plea. “Sister Achates, if you truly care for my well-being, you would untie me and let me explain.”

“I dunno about untie, but you can explain,” Achates darkly chuckled, slowly picking up the now-melting candle and hovering it in the air, bringing it over to Montmorancy with a devilish grin. “Hurry, before time runs out~”

“W-Waaaiiitt~!!” Monty yelped, kicking and shaking her head viciously. “Between you and Sister Clarissa, I don’t know which of you is worse!!”

“Hm, speaking of,” Achates dropped the candle and put her index finger to her lip in thought, ignoring Monty’s relieved whine as the wick was extinguished from the fall. “Come to think of it, where is Sister Clarissa? Doesn’t she normally have a sixth sense for this sort of thing?”

Alexa shivered. The mere thought of Clarissa being present alongside Achates. She would rather wage another war against the Archdemon.

Montmorancy raised her head, her cheeks wet with tears, sniffling. “She probably wouldn’t be able to sense any greater danger within Ezera’s borders right now.. Not with that new boyfriend of hers’..”

“BOYFRIEND?!?!” Alexa and Achates both exclaimed. They shoved themselves into Monty’s face with the utter confusion etched upon their expressions, Achates voice overpowering Alexa’s with her query. “We aren’t allowed suitors as priestesses! This is unlike Sister Clarissa’s usual rigid discipline and respect for the rules! Who is this boyfriend she’s been woo’d by?!? If it’s Crozet I’m snapping his ne—“

“DOOR ALERT!! DOOR ALERT!!”

“You know, for a Door Boy, you sure do talk more than you keep lookout.”

“That’s what I’m saying!! I think you may want to take a look at this!!”

The three non-tethered-to-a-chair service members poked their heads abruptly out of the doorway to observe one of the oddest, most likely sacrilegious sights they had ever witnessed. Had they not themselves seen it, perhaps it would have been doubted. But lo and behold, Clarissa stepped daintily into the cathedral’s halls, hand-in-hand with a man donning a heavy-built, darkened suit of armor, a recognizably heinous purple banner being touted in the embroidery. Her demure, innocent smile which betray her usual bloodlust was clear as day upon her face, and though the Axeman still wore his helmet indoors (disrespectfully at that!), one couldn’t help but assume he was blushing.

“Wha.. What..”

Alexa turned to Achates, thinking aloud unintentionally. “Wow. You? Speechless?”

Suddenly, a melodious voice could be heard across the church. Angelica skipped toward the pair, her usual youthful(?) cheer infecting the room with a strange, eerie whimsy contradictory for the occasion. “Oh? Is this the young gentleman you spoke of when you approached me about altering our guidelines for the sisterhood?”

Clarissa nodded, curtsying. “Yes ma’am, his name is—“

“Now, now, don’t ruin the moment for our audience,” Angelica winked. “You have my blessing, as I mentioned before. Rules are important, but occasionally they become antiquated. I’m more than happy to comply if this helps solidify your faith in the Goddess.”

She beamed up at the taller pair. “So, what does your beau do for a living?”

“Hmhmm, he’s a nonbeliever under a treacherous figurehead whom he doesn’t truly comprehend and yet gives his entire being to in hopes of a better tomorrow, unfortunately.” That sickly crescent sneer of fury suddenly took over Clarissa’s demeanor as she raised her flail. “I’m going to convert him. With the awe-inspiring, fear-inducing force only the Goddess can comply with.”

The Axeman gripped his weapon, brandishing it wildly. “In your dreams—for as the abyss wrought by the Archdemon has brought me a sense of emptiness, it has also brought a beautiful soul to fill it! You shall know the same humility and happiness, I swear it!!”

Alexa, Achates, and Elson looked on, dumbfounded as the loving couple began clashing throughout the chambers, smashing pews and taking out chunks of furnishings in their extended ritual of love. Montmorancy remained where she sat, wriggling in tears and wishing she was still in bed.

With hearts in her eyes, Angelica beamed at the two brazen lovebirds. “I love a happy ending.”


End file.
